Personal Statement

Who am I? What drives me?

Often clocking out at dawn from my lab only to return after three hours of quick sleep for a month straight and preparing interim progress reports – this was my life for two years when working on a project.

Indeed, those were tough years, especially as I was on the edge as I not only had to carry out tens of experiments but also present the progress and outputs in person (every two weeks at that) to a group of top-seeded experts in Korea. Until now, I must have presented at least 40 times. I do admit that these were indeed nerve-wracking.

However, despite all these challenges and hardships (super-fast pace, pressure to deliver - to name just two among many), I felt alive and never had Monday Blues per se because my motivation was crystal clear; work well done could mean some kind of real-life application that could benefit us all.

Likewise, I work very hard - because I owe so much to the society.

For example, seven years on Christmas Eve to be exact, I was standing near my university’s admin office for three hours with the application for withdrawal from school in my hand – because my mother was diagnosed with both breast and pancreatic cancers.

Thus, my family needed money quick, but we were penniless. My father, the only breadwinner of the family with very limited education (he graduated from junior high) could never make more than $2,000 per month as he drove a small delivery truck. Thus, as long as I can remember, we lived in a housing project run by the government for the poor. If it wasn’t for the $50 monthly rent, we (my parents, my older sister, and I) couldn’t have lived off $2,000.

But suddenly all in a day, we became poorer from poor, as my father had to sell off his truck for the first set of medical payments, and as he had to quit his job to be there for his wife, 365x24 as we simply could not afford a full-time caretaker/nurse. Every day when my mother was not otherwise hospitalized for weeks, they had to go and return from the hospital, located far away for the chemotherapy and other treatments.

Although they tried their best to protect me, I could still hear them sigh and worry about surgery costs and even living expenses for the next week (not month) behind closed doors. They were afraid of the medical costs.

Thus, out of desperation, I seriously considered quitting school because for me it was a question of spending what little we have, to save her or stay in school. My plan was to quit as I still had three more years to go and get a job at a factory to help them.

But today, looking back, I am so relieved that I didn’t submit that withdrawal letter because only a few days later, a furniture company gave me a $5,000 scholarship for my mother’s surgery.

That money saved my mother.

And later, we realized our fear was for nothing as we found out about the government’s excellent, most compassionate healthcare policy which subsidized most if not all her medical treatments. Meanwhile, I could stay in school and graduate as a private scholarship foundation fully subsidized my education so that I could focus on my studies. And that is precisely what I did. I studied hard, giving it all because education was the only ticket out of this, my only hope, I had studied hard to make it to a top engineering school, and for many years, I had thought that it was all my doing, that I had achieved what I did because I am smart, hardworking and driven. And it was also true that my drive was limited to the well-being of my family and me.

Today, however, my motivation is no longer that narrow. Instead, my bucket list now includes the well-being of many others as well because of all the help we got.

So, I don’t wait to contribute, volunteering for the homeless and children with rare diseases for years and donating to the disabled and single moms for equally many years. Although these donations force me to cut back on my budget for essentials like food, still there is absolutely no hesitation in sharing what little I have with those who are going through what we went through. Likewise, my only sibling, my older sister who studied Social Welfare in the States also contributes there as a social worker. She tells me that she works thinking about our own parents who are able to lead their everyday lives because they too are on welfare today.

But I need to share much more with what I will learn. And I will.

An asset of mine – a team player

“Your military service must have been a breeze” – this is the regular reaction I get when acquaintances find out where I served my mandatory military service since I was responsible for managing the reserve forces.

Of course, I do understand why some would think I had a relatively comfortable military life. For one, I worked out of an air- conditioned office as my job was a desk job. Of course, I had some other responsibilities like helping to polish training curricula and helping in the field during training sessions, but still, my main job was to ensure that they show up for the mandatory training sessions. And I was working with grown-ups in their 30s and 40s – mature, responsible members of society.

But the reality was 180 degrees different. It was harsh at best, first and foremost because they have absolutely zero motivation. Many consider their precious 20s wasted in the barracks as they must serve the best of their years (and two years at that), and thus no one wants to return for training, held four times every year. There are even YouTubers who provide tips on how to kill time during these “boring” sessions.

Meanwhile, as some who manage to find out that they are not legally obliged if they don’t receive the notice in person, my team and I, sometimes had to go on all-night-long stakeouts, almost like undercover cops to wait for them when they return home late at night to deliver the official notice for training in person.

Thus, I rolled up my sleeves and helped introduce many changes; better and more interesting training programs for one, even if only slightly.

And I also started listening very carefully to each one’s needs. Every day, we had tens, if not hundreds of phone calls from people asking all kinds of questions like what happens to their obligation to attend training if they need to take care of a sick parent, for instance. Thus, I started by memorizing (literally speaking) hundreds of pages-long manuals on military policies, especially those related to the reserve forces, because I needed to learn before I could answer their questions (later, I “translated” them into easy-to-understand languages so that others at other bases could answer any question).

Looking back this was an excellent teamwork classroom. For one, I learned to embrace diversity. In the beginning, there was a tendency in my team to view all the reserve forces members as one entity as they all wear the same uniform per se. But then as I started to analyze them, their needs and their special circumstances, I realized once again that everyone is different. Never knew that this tiny country of ours could be so diverse. Meanwhile, the reserve force members were also very satisfied as we shared tips (for example, police and firefighters are exempt from these trainings – which many didn’t know). So, the many complaints turned into calls complimenting us for our “customer” service.

I also learned to turn around a team with low morale. My team’s morale was at its lowest. With only one major and three rank- and-file soldiers including me, the team was sick and tired of all the stakeouts and chasing downs, and this low morale showed; we were ranked the lowest in the annual performance evaluation even when our hands were already very full. So, we were overworked, but we weren’t getting recognized.

But I shared with my team members my own story. I told them why I was so driven - because of my grandfather who fought for peace. Although born in North Korea, he realized the dangers of communism early on. Thus, he formed a youth group for guerilla warfare (his “army” was later was incorporated into the UN and then later became the Korea Special Forces).

But I also saw how the failure to protect peace can be costly. All his life, he suffered from PTSD from the Korean War, passing away young as an alcoholic, especially as he blamed himself for the death of his younger brother, a 20-year-old medical school student, who fought alongside his older brother.

In the end, I highlighted the value of our work. Compared to 600,000 active soldiers, those in the reserve forces number 10 times more – and thus training them well, to me, meant playing a part, even if a small part, in deterring conflict, and thus securing peace. So, my message was clear – what we do is essential and crucial.

In the following year, we got ranked No. 1 in entire Seoul. And soon enough, word-of-mouth traveled fast, and even the other offices started calling us for tricky questions. That is, we became the hotline for other military bases. The power of motivation – this I realized once again.